The Lost Life

I'm sitting here in a huge house, drinking a bottle of wine, and watching the Golden Globes. So what if the house has 8 housemates total, and the wine is $2.99 a bottle on clearance from Kroger? I'm a classy bitch, and this is the way I roll.

Watching everything happening on the Red Carpet, I feel a sense of envy. I believe I'm supposed to be there with them, a soul, lost where I know I'm supposed to be found. The Pre-Show is airing, live, on E! I see how these nobodies are getting famous - nipping at the heels of stars and starlets and wanna-be stars. I want to be them. I want to be Kelly Osbourne, or Ryan Seacrest. Maybe I just want to bed Ryan. Yeah, that's probably it. Also, he is the shit. I mean, come on. He started as a contestant on a dating show, and now he owns Hollywood. I don't want a tenth of what he has. I just want a simple start on a simple TV show or movie. Maybe I can get there someday.

I am jealous of Ryan. He has an amazing Burberry suit on right now and looks absolutely gorgeous. You know he gets to take that home, right? He gets to keep his suit. All of these rich people, with money spewing out their asses, and designers give them clothes for free. I've got to work for 4 months straight to afford just the jacket. How am I not famous yet? I've got a great body that's perfect for modeling designer suits.

Maybe I can get my start on a show on E! But how do I begin? Do I have to major in something such as "Hollywood Etiquette," or "Famousness?" I know that's not a word, but hey, I'm American. Can the world ever be ready for a guy like me to be well-known? Like I always say, just give me a cigarette, a drink, and a microphone and let the magic happen. Can I just try once, in front of somebody famous?

So maybe, now that I'm going back to school finally, I can figure out my very own path to Hollywood. I'm not sure how I'm going to get there, but maybe inspiration will strike me soon. I haven't been so inspired lately, and I'm not sure I can remember how to get there. Well, I'll raise my glass of cheap wine and hope that I get a muse soon! Here's to 2014!